Since 1956, the government has charged Helen Joseph with treason, detained her repeatedly, placed her under house arrest and made it a crime to quote her. But the 84-year-old white anti-apartheid activist survived 34 years of bannings and on Feb. 2 became one of nearly 500 people, living and dead, whose restrictions were lifted by President F.W. de Klerk. ``I didn't think I'd see this day,'' Mrs. Joseph said, adding that she was a bit disappointed the government no longer considered her a threat. ``I'm a stubborn old bag and I wasn't expecting things to change.'' Police restrictions have been a way of life for many anti-apartheid activists. Hundreds detained without charge during the 3{-year-old state of emergency were released but then placed under virtual house arrest. The restrictions varied, but often prohibited the activists from leaving their neighborhoods, required them to be home each night, prevented them from attending meetings or participating in politics, and often made it impossible to hold a job. Zwelakhe Sisulu, son of recently released African National Congress leader Walter Sisulu, was freed from prison in December 1988 after two years in detention. But he had to report daily to police and was unable to resume his job as editor of the New Nation newspaper until de Klerk rescinded his restriction order. Few have endured as much as Mrs. Joseph, a former social worker and union official now confined to a wheelchair much of the time. The government charged Mrs. Joseph, ANC leader Nelson Mandela and more than 150 others with treason in 1956 for their anti-apartheid activities. All were acquitted in a trial that lasted until 1961. However, Mrs. Joseph, a divorcee with no children, remained under a banning order and in 1962 became the first South African placed under house arrest. For the next nine years, police were the only visitors allowed to enter her comfortable white house with a red roof and a flower-filled garden in a Johannesburg suburb. Her house arrest ended in 1971 while she was undergoing a cancer operation, but until Feb. 2 she remained a ``listed'' person, meaning she could not be quoted in South Africa. She has been arrested numerous times, most recently in 1983 when she sang a freedom song and gave a clenched-fist, black power salute while attending a treason trial. As part of his reform program, de Klerk lifted the police orders on 374 people who had been restricted after their release from detention. He also removed the names of all 110 people who had been ``listed'' and could not be quoted. Many of the listed people are either dead or have left South Africa. They include: _Most of the African National Congress leadership, such as President Oliver Tambo, who is recovering from a stroke in Sweden. _Donald Woods, whose book ``Cry Freedom,'' about the life and death of black activist Steve Biko was made into a movie by the same name three years ago. Woods now lives in London. _Numerous whites, including Anne Heymann, who died of pneumonia Feb. 3 at the age of 66, and her husband, Isaac Heymann, who died of cancer four days later at the age of 79. The Heymanns, both listed since the 1960s, lived only a few blocks from Mrs. Joseph and often visited her at her front gate during the years when she wasn't allowed guests inside her home. ``So many people suffered for so many years,'' Mrs. Joseph said. ``I'm not grateful (for the lifting of the restrictions). It was not an act of compassion. It never should have been done in the first place.'' Despite failing health, she occasionally travels to anti-government protests, such as an ANC rally last October in the township of Soweto, where she received a rousing cheer from the mostly black crowd of 70,000. Mrs. Joseph, whose requests to visit Mandela were repeatedly denied, finally was granted permission and the two met last Dec. 21 for the first time in 28 years. ``He looked different after so many years, but then so did I,'' Mrs. Joseph said. ``He was in very good form, full of jokes, full of laughter.'' Four days later, Mrs. Joseph had Christmas dinner with Walter Sisulu and dozens of other activists at the home of a friend. After her house arrest was lifted, she began a tradition of making a toast at noon on Christmas to remember all the anti-apartheid activists who were in exile, in prison or had died. Word of the tradition had spread to exiles and prisoners, and Sisulu told Mrs. Joseph it was observed during his years in jail. She hopes one day all the activists will be able to hold a Christmas toast together in South Africa, but she doubts she'll be around to take part. ``I don't think I'll see the end of apartheid, but I'll see it diminish,'' she said. ``You can't wash away 300 years of cruelty and injustice overnight.''